


Disciples of a Goddess

by dr_sturgeonman



Series: Gambling Deity [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Crack, Everyone's a little gay for Naruto, Female Uzumaki Naruto, Fluff and Crack, Genin Teams, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Namikaze Minato and Naruto are siblings, Naruto is a sensei, Other tags to be added, Senju vs Uchiha rivalry, Sister Complex, Stick around, Team Bonding, The Hokage keeps forcing Naruto to adopt gremlins, Third Shinobi War Era if that helps, Underage Drinking, it's weird - Freeform, like why isn't that the first tag, she's turning them into world destroying weapons of mass destruction as revenge, student crushes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:08:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26673436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dr_sturgeonman/pseuds/dr_sturgeonman
Summary: Takes place in an alternate reality (which is saying something as this is already an AU I'm writing) where the Senju and Uchiha clan still exist.But what's this? Madara, Hashirama, and Tobirama are all genin? Naruto is their sensei? And she's her father's sister? What the hell is going on?If you haven’t read Goddess’ First Steps, your gonna be in for a confusing ride.There's more surprises where that's from! Come stick around for five chapters of pure crack fueled ridiculousness based on Goddess' First Steps!
Relationships: Namikaze Minato & Uzumaki Naruto, Senju Hashirama & Senju Tobirama & Uchiha Madara & Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Gambling Deity [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940836
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	1. Genin Team Assignment

**Author's Note:**

> Basically the summary but more clarification so it's not a fanfiction of itself. The Konoha eleven generation are part of their parents generation and are taking on genin teams of their own, composed mostly of their future(?) senseis.
> 
> Despite the naming (I do have a reason for it, just sit tight and it will be explained in future chapters) Namikaze Minato and Senju (Uzumaki) Naruto are siblings, adopted by Tsunade who is, in this universe, Senju Butsuma's older half sister.
> 
> I've got plenty of other changes going on, so just sit tight and hopefully questions will get answered as we go.
> 
> Usual: I own nothing, all rights and creative licenses reserved by blah-blah-blah, don't like don't read, genderbend, etc.

Namikaze Minato was having a great day. He had woken up early and had a nutritious breakfast, his early morning training routine had gone off without a hitch, and best of all, he had set reservations at the finest restaurant in Konoha where he could finally propose to the love of his life, and best of all, he had gotten to enjoy his lunch break with his Oneesan!

All he had to do was turn in the final paperwork today for his Anbu squad at the Hokage Tower and he’d be home free.

“Senile old fool of a sensei!”

Or maybe not.

He stood just outside the Yondaime’s office, one hand hovering right above the door about to knock and paperwork in the other. From behind the wooden barrier, he could hear his beloved Oneesan having one of her usual casual arguments with her old sensei and current superior about her once more taking on a team of genin.

The sound of furniture flying was now a staple, and Minato knew from experience that getting between his older sister and whatever she was mad about was a historically bad idea.

“Perverted old slippery- Where in the Sage's rotten ass did you go!” Something heavy scraped across the floor, probably the desk, before it was likely shoved out the window with the ease of skipping a pebble, at least that’s what he assumed from the sound of shattering glass and the loud explosive thud that followed from it hitting the ground outside far below.

“A lovely day for a walk, no, Minato-kun?” The fourth Hokage appeared before him in a swirl of leaves and smoke. “I’ll take that paperwork from you now, you’re free to leave.” He promptly took the paper from Minato’s slack grip.

“Shouldn’t you be...” He waved his hand in the direction of where a miniature earthquake was currently destroying the man’s office.

“She’ll tucker herself out eventually.” He motioned for the jonin commander to follow him at a casual pace, away from the disaster incarnate. "And besides, I needed an excuse to redecorate after Sarutobi-sensei left office."

“Right…” He sweat dropped.

He knew his sister had a temper, but he’d never think she’d be this mad about having to train another team of genin, he thought she did well with her last batch. Yahiko, Konan, and Nagato were doing flawlessly in Anbu, better known as Frog, Moth, and Phoenix respectively. And other then the occasional international incident, they were little angels that he thankfully didn't have to wrangle.

“And speaking of genin teams, here’s your’s, Minato.” The Hokage handed him a paper with three academy graduates on it: Hatake Kakashi, Uchiha Obito, and Nohara Rin. “I expect great things from my future successor.” The Hokage raised the bar as he waved farewell.

Minato already had some experience with the young Hatake, and reading over the files for the other two showed that they had some promise if they could get over their own issues first. “Ah, Hokage-sama,” Minato called out to the departing man who stopped to address him.

“Hai?”

“If you don’t mind me asking, who is Neesan supposed to be teaching?”

* * *

“Soon your jonin instructors will call your names. When they do, you are free to follow them to receive your first team mission.” The academy teacher informed them, a line of Konoha’s highest ranking nin sat lined up behind him.

Among them were Hyuuga Hinata, Rock Lee, and the famous Namikaze Minato to name a few.

But unlike the rest of his classmates below who were abuzz with excitement at the prospect of being assigned to one of these well known nin, Senju Tobirama felt that the entire situation was off.

He counted nine jonin, nine jonin for thirty genin hopefuls. Shouldn’t there be ten?

His anxiety only continued to grow as one by one the jonin senseis called out their teams of three. But, being the stoical ten year old he was, he kept it on the inside.

Finally it was down to him, his brother, Hatake Kakashi, Nohara Rin, and the two Uchiha in their class. The only jonin left was Namikaze who was looking more and more embarrassed as all six of them stared at him hopefully.

“Kakashi Hatake, Nohara Rin, and Uchiha Obito.” He finally answered the tense question all of them had but were too anxious to ask, leaving the three unclaimed genin to bang their heads on their desks in despair and disbelief.

The now group of four swiftly piled out of the now almost empty class, the sound of their retreating footsteps all too audible for the three genin left to have their sensei arrive, much less claim them.

“I’m sure she has a good explanation for being late.” The Namikaze informed them before following his team out the door, leaving the three academy graduates to stew in silence and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

…

“How long is this asshole gonna make us wait damnit?!” It was the Uchiha in the room to angrily demand the answer from no one in particular. And for once the Senju would agree with his rival clan.

The universe seemed to choose that exact moment for their sensei to arrive, slamming the door open as a frighteningly familiar figure clacked her way in on a pair of heels that was in no way authorized or acceptable for any respectable shinobi to wear on missions.

Senju Naruto, the adopted daughter and protégé of his father’s older half-sister, Senju Tsunade, and the older sister of Namikaze Minato, the clan’s blacksheep and infamous defector.

“Naruto-nee!” His brother was all too happy to have his beloved older cousin as their sensei.

But from the looks of Naruto, she did not share the same sentiment.

“Hello,” She grit out before taking in a deep breath, “all right, you all know why I’m here so let’s cut to the next part and introduce ourselves.”

“But Naru-nee-” Hashirama tried.

“Let’s just do it.” He cut his aniki off, Naruto was already agitated and Tobirama really didn’t want to push the envelope further and face her formidable wrath.

“Well you’re late, you start!” Madara angrily retorted, and while Tobirama begrudgingly understood the sentiment, now was probably not the best of times to test the temperamental albino who could get away with breaking their bones.

“Fine,” She answered curtly, surprising Tobirama, he suspected (rather hoped) that she would have put up a fight and forced the arrogant Uchiha to go first. At the least throw up an explanation for her tardiness. “My name is Senju Naruto. I like ramen and not being forced to do things I don’t want.” Wow, could she be anymore obvious in showing her displeasure at the task she was given. Hashirama, for all his obliviousness and glass-half full attitude was even able to pick up on her mood regarding them, going into one of his characteristic malaises. “I hate letting the ramen rest too long and it getting soggy, along with people who don’t know how to listen to doctor’s orders.” The last one was aimed at pretty much half the shinobi population who were notorious for their aversion to medical treatment. “My dreams for the future are to retire early and spend the rest of my life gambling. As for hobbies, I enjoy gambling, developing medical ninjutsu and a few other techniques, and have recently taken to classifying the world’s ramen establishments in a list of great to bad.”

She said this all with a slightly clipped tone, and much of the information was already known throughout not only the Senju clan but much of Konoha already.

“And since you’re so eager to hear my life’s story, Madara, you’re up next.” She ordered, crossing her arms and leaning backwards onto the teacher's desk.

His brother’s best friend and certified Uchiha brat let out a noise of irritation but complied nonetheless.

“You all already know my name. I don’t have any likes really, except-” Hashirama made a hopeful expression as he waited with baited breath for Madara to say his name. “My little brothers and clan.” The reaction was instantaneous as Hashirama quickly slumped into his chair with a defeated expression. “I dislike the Senju in general, although they have their moments I guess…” he conceded with a grumble, eyeing Hashirama out of the corner of his eye who perked up before shooting a vitriol fueled glare Tobirama’s way. “My hobbies include taijutsu, ninjutsu, and falconry.” Naruto raised an otherwise bored but impressed brow, but didn’t comment. “And I guess my dream is to one day beat a certain Uchiha and become clan head, proving once and for all the Uchiha as Konoha’s strongest clan.”

Despite the pride in which the Uchiha talked about his grandiose impossible dream, Naruto was not impressed. Giving merely an “ok, next.” and pointing at Hashirama who was trying to repress his snickers at Madara’s irritated reaction.

With a snrk, Hashirama began his introduction with the enthusiasm of a golden retriever. “My name is Senju Hashirama. I like my brothers and Madara, and don’t really dislike anything. My hobbies include rock skipping and I like taking care of my brothers. And my dream is to one day be Hokage!” He took one big deep breath after that mouth blurb.

And much like with the Uchiha, Tobirama’s cousin merely hummed an acknowledgement before turning to him. “Best for last.” She said, cracking a smile as she put on a slightly teasing tone.

“Fine,” He grit out, used to his older cousin’s antics by now and knowing she was just in a bad mood that would soon blow over. “My name is Senju Tobirama. I don’t feel like telling you about my likes and dislikes,” He made sure to shoot a glare at the Uchiha’s direction who answered in kind. “My hobbies are my own and I don’t really have a dream so can we just get this over with.” He practically growled the last sentence, contemplating whether or not putting in a team transfer request of himself and his brother would be seen as running away from the Senju's rival clan.

His and Hashirama’s cousin only smirked as she stood up from where she was leaning on the academy teacher’s desk.

“Fine, fine,” She said with a relaxed voice, all her previous anger forgotten after Tobirama’s spiteful introduction. “Your first mission will begin before at training ground ten, be there by oh seven hundred sharp. I’d advise against eating anything substantial, in fact, best to avoid breakfast entirely. Ja ne!” She popped away in a cloud of smoke, leaving the three academy graduates, and now definite genin, to filter out of the classroom and split up.

The Uchiha, who Tobirama guessed he would have to begrudgingly start referring to by name since they were on a team now, waved goodbye to Hashirama before giving the stink eye to Tobirama. The two brother’s watched him disappear towards the Uchiha compound before heading off to the Senju themselves.

It only occurred to him about halfway back to their home that he would have to sit through dinner with his annoying cousin/sensei and listen to his father telling them to be on their best behavior, and to be better than the Uchiha, and to make chunin by next year, and to not embarrass the clan, and to…

On second thought, his obnoxiously loud cousin might be a blessing to have at the dinner table now that he thought about it. Her tendency to be both physically and literally loud, along with her inability to not butt in on conversations, usually distracted the Senju patriarch from whatever nugget of wisdom he was intending to impart on them.

Then again, she also might just start teasing Tobirama on his ~~makeup~~ war paint.


	2. Bell Test

It was common knowledge among the Senju that Naruto was notoriously infamous for sleeping in if given the chance. A result of working long shifts at the hospital along with whatever else was required of the medical prodigy’s skills.

Honestly, Tobirama could kind of understand her situation given all that was required of her.

Didn’t mean that the young albino was going to let her sleep in on the day of their first mission.

So at six in the morning, after having gotten his aniki ready and out the door, they stood outside apartment ten in a complex a short distance away from the clan compound.

“Naruto-neesan-sensei! Let’s go, come on, we don’t wanna be late!” Hashirama hollered, banging on the door as he did so.

Even Tobirama was wincing from his brother’s abundant energy even this early in the morning. He just hoped the neighbors didn’t wake up from the brunette’s loud volume.

He was about to stop him from banging on the door a second time, the fool already taking a deep breath as he readied his lungs for another round before the sound of something thudded its way towards the door.

The sleepy horned head of his cousin and sensei popped through the wide open door, still adorned in her clothes from yesterday judging by the shabby wrinkles littered about her form. She squinted at them before nodding her head, clearly having just woken up herself, leaving Tobirama to wonder if she hadn’t intended to leave them out in the sun until well into the evening before finally blessing them with her presence.

“Right,” Her voice came out in a hoarse croak, “give me…” She counted off a series of numbers on one hand, “fifteen to twenty minutes and we can be off.” She held up her pinky and middle finger before disappearing into the dark depths of her lair.

Tobirama wasn’t quick enough to stop his brother from taking the open door as an invitation to enter so he followed behind, trying and failing to relax in the maelstrom of chaos that was his relative’s home. It was neat if one didn’t consider the mess of medical files that littered the low coffee table and the many books left open to various sections on the adjoining sofa, or the kitchen which looked like a tornado had torn through it and left all the dirty dishes in the sink after passing by.

Hashirama made himself at home on her couch, plopping down and sending paper and pens flying in every direction before snatching one up and inquiring what it was about. Naruto yelled something unintelligible from the deepest shadowy bowels of her domain before the sound of running hot water drowned out whatever other noise she tried to make.

The fellow albino tried to make himself small, folding his arms over his chest and glaring at the mess left all around him. Eventually his brother’s chattering noise somehow drew him closer to him, peeking over his shoulder to look at whatever their cousin was currently working on.

From the looks of the document, it was something way above their skill level. A series of complex notes written in code sprawled over a detailed diagram of the human body, each one a different depiction of various systems.

The one thing Tobirama could make out from the unintelligible sprawl was that they all had something to do with the body's chakra network.

“All right,” Their elder cousin yawned, freshly dressed and showered, “let’s go.”

* * *

_Get the bells_ she said.

_If you don’t, you’ll be sent back to the academy_ she said.

What she didn’t say, but heavily implied as she secured them to her belt, was that she would be the obstacle between them and officially being genin.

“Hajime!” She hollered, sending all three genin, who had grown up hearing and sharing horror stories of what _The Demon Rabbit of Destruction_ could and would do to combatants brave enough to face her into the undergrowth, to hide.

She had been so terrifying on the battlefield that she was one of the few shinobi in the entire ninja world to have a flee on sight warning in the bingo book.

With a kunai clutched in hand, and a bead of nervous sweat dripping down the side of his face, Madara hunched down low on the branch he was positioned on, watching the Senju that had begrudgingly earned his respect over the years pick her nails out of boredom.

Everything about the situation screamed wrong to him.

Naruto-sensei not only had the Byakugan and the Rinne Sharingan, but she being a jonin she should have been able to pick them out from miles away with even low caliber sensory techniques.

_“A shinobi must see underneath the underneath.”_ His father had once told him, a sentiment the young Uchiha was just now starting to understand.

Swallowing his pride, Madara silently admitted to himself that this was an opponent far above his abilities. So moving quickly, he began to search for his erstwhile best friend, cursing the fact that he had not paid attention to where the loud bubbly brunette had run off to during their dispersal.

He only hoped that the damned Senju brat that was Hashirama’s brother hadn’t gotten to him first.

There were only two bells after all.

And Madara would be damned if those two glittering orbs didn’t have his and Hashirama’s name on them.

* * *

Tobirama was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

On the one hand, he needed to find his brother and form an alliance with him before the Uchi… Madara (he had to repress the shiver that ran down his spine at just the thought of the fuzzy headed brat’s name) could convince his stupidly friendly aniki from doing the same.

There were two bells in his cousins’ possession.

Two bells that belonged to the Senju genin and not their ancient rival.

But oh yes! The current conundrum that had the young Senju stuck and unable to find his wayward brother.

His other adopted cousin who Tobirama had just happened to land on the same branch as to hide.

The same cousin who was the younger brother of his current sensei.

The same blonde headed idiot with a sister complex who had stupidly forsaken the clan name to find his original.

The very weirdo who was currently holding a hand over Tobirama’s mouth and pleading with him to not alert Naruto to their current position.

  
Why?

Because as mentioned previously, Minato had the biggest sister complex the Senju child had ever had the misfortune of knowing. In his other hand, the one not currently preventing Tobirama from tattling, was a film camera.

“Please don’t rat me out if I tell you how to win.”

* * *

This was the stupidest idea Hashirama had ever had. Naru-nee was the strongest shinobi Hashirama knew, and he, barely a fresh genin, was attempting to fight her on his own. But there was a reason to his madness, a reason he hoped at the least his brother and best friend would also realize.

There were two bells. Two bells for two genin… except every genin team was always made of three.

_“Underneath the underneath.”_ His cousin, the one he was currently engaging with, often murmured to herself once her prank had gone off… A multilayered monstrosity of a prank that gave most battle hardened shinobi an unhealthy paranoia towards rubber duckies, slugs, and on more than one occasion the color orange.

“I challenge you!” He struck what he hoped was a heroic pose, pointing a combative finger his cousin’s way.

She raised a single pale eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

Then she smiled, showing off pearly white rows of teeth in a predatory grin, “Koi!” She waved her hand for him to come at her.

With a brave battle cry, the Senju heir presumptive charged.

He ran straight at her, delivering a swift strike that had been drilled into his head since birth.

A strike Naruto dodged effortlessly.

He threw a shuriken, activating the Shuriken Kage Bunshin no Jutsu in an attempt to pin down the dreadfully powerful woman.

Fast enough to the point that Hashirama barely caught sight of her blurred form, Naruto punched deep into the crust and ripped up a mat of earth to block the razor sharp storm of metal coming at her.

As fast as he could, Hashirama ran towards the cloud of dust that had exploded into existence following his jutsu’s extinguishment. Up and over the block of earth he went, kunai drawn and at the ready only to meet nothing.

It only clicked a moment too late that he should not be standing out in the open where he was completely vulnerable to a veteran shinobi just over twice his age.

“Oh, Hashi,” His cousin’s disappointed voice appeared right next to his ear and sent shivers down his spine. “You always did bite off more than you could chew.”

He managed to twist around, just fast enough to catch the same predatory smirk of his cousin’s that appeared without fail whenever she succeeded in pulling off a prank.

Next there was a puff of smoke, something squishy and moist surrounded him, and then his vision turned black.

* * *

Madara didn’t know whether to rip out his hair or laugh his ass off as he watched his long time best friend get swallowed by a giant sentient blob of mint toothpaste after that disaster of a fight.

He didn’t have long to decide however before he was yanked up by his foot.

Pitch black eyes meeting milky pale blue.

He barely got out an “oh shi-” before his vision wasn’t exactly whited out so much as it was " _oranged_ "out.

* * *

If Hashirama had a nickel for every time Katsuyu-sama slurped him up like a Senju ramen special, he’d have about seven nickels. Which, granted, isn’t a lot but it was still too high for anyone’s standards.

At the moment, he was currently hung upside down from the invertebrate’s mouth, up (or down he guessed) to his elbows in slug.

Then again, he could be Madara who was currently a giant malformed Cheetos with only his mouth and nose free at the moment.

“Where is Tobirama?” His cousin interrogated them, arms crossed and foot tapping somewhat impatiently.

“I’ll never tell you!” Hashirama protested valiantly, releasing a full body shiver as Katsuyu-sama made an obnoxious slurping noise as she sucked him in by about two or three inches.

“What?!” Madara yelled in a slightly nasally voice, sneezing out a cloud of orange dust.

“I said where is Tobirama?” Naruto once more questioned, stripping off a pile of crusted goo to allow Madara to hear her. His entire head was coated in an orange crusty powder, and his hair was probably going to be a degree of orange for a long long time.

“Don’t do it Madara!” Hashirama once more protested, only to get slurped up to his chin by Katusuyu-sama, holding his breath in an effort to not breathe in or swallow the copious amounts of slug mucous that threatened to drip down.

On the bright side, Katusuyu-sama’s digestive mucous in small amounts worked excellently as a hygienic scrub that not only cleaned but removed unpleasant odors as well.

So he had that going for him at least.

“Even if I did know I, which I don’t!” Madara wriggled in an effort to free himself of his Cheeto prison. “Like I’d tell you where the twerp is!”

“Fair point.” Naruto admitted, tapping her chin.

“So you’ll let us out?” Hashirama foolishly hoped.

“Nope.” His devilish cousin popped the ‘p’ while snapping her fingers, giving the cue for Katsuyu-sama to slurp up the last of the Senju boy.

“No no no no no, not the face- ahhhhhh…” Madara whined in protest as Naruto took out a blob of the quickly hardening orange goo that had turned the Uchiha heir into either a work of modern art or a snack advertisement.

Naruto looked around after resealing the protesting Uchiha heir, tempted to use her Byakugan before deciding against it.

While she didn’t want another team, if she had any hair color to begin with her last team definitely turned those white with all their shenanigans, she wasn’t going to cheat… at least not by Shinobi standards.

“Any ideas Katsuyu-sama?” The horned twenty-something year old asked.

“No.” The slug answered apologetically, voice a bit warbled as the lump that was the protesting and struggling Hashirama was slowly brought further and further down the slug’s... throat?

“Damn,” Naruto sighed, “looks like its the-”

An explosion from the back of the training grounds cut her off. “That’s a start.” She whistled to herself. “Why do you-”

A massive boulder finally became visible as it launched through the air directly towards the jonin.

“Naruto-sama!” The loyal summon cried out in concern.

“I’m fine Katsuyu,” Naruto casually walked around the massive chunk of earth, with the most damage taken being a fine coating of dust that she was quick to dust off.

“Well,” She sighed, “I’ll be back, see you soon! Bye bye!” She smiled and made two little hearts with her hands before shunshining away.

* * *

Tobirama was not happy, granted this wasn’t anything new. Tied upside down and hung above a pot full of fat slugs, his situation wasn’t looking good.

That, and his brother and his brother’s friend were currently just as indisposed as he was in equally if not more ridiculous situations.

His plan had gone off well, he mused to himself, trying to figure out where he went wrong.

Naruto had come as he’d predicted to the madman contraption he’d designed. Then, as quickly as he could, Tobirama ran to where he could sense his brother and Madara.

The advice his semi-cousin gave him rang through his head as he jumped from branch to branch, hoping the decoy he’d left behind would be enough to distract the force of nature chasing after him.

_“You need to work together.”_

Tobirama hated to admit it, but it made a lot of sense in retrospect. Two bells and three genin.

He felt like an idiot.

He had just freed Madara after chopping him out with a kunai. Tobirama quickly made a few shadow clones which then linked up to form a chain that they used to free the last member of their team from the intestines of the slug when Naruto reappeared.

She loomed over him with a smiling expression, the beaten up body of her younger brother slung over her shoulder and unconscious, but judging by the somewhat happy expression, the idiot was enjoying it on some perverse level.

“Seems the little ducklings are starting to get it, albeit after some help.” She nodded her head to the blonde dobe over her shoulder which she quickly dropped to the ground. “Now then,” she cracked her neck from side to side, stretching her arms up above her head and arching her back, “how about you all give up and I’ll treat you to some-”

It was a rash decision, dashing forward with a kunai drawn and putting everything his ten year old body had into the attack. He didn't know what was crazier, that it was him and not his brother who acted rashly or that he didn’t have the slightest inkling of a plan.

Either way, Naruto wasn’t expecting it as her eye widened in surprise while Tobirama tackled her to the ground, putting the kunai to her neck and grabbing the bull by the horn. Literally, he was grabbing her by the horn.

He honestly didn’t know what he was doing, he just had a base driving need not to lose.

“Hashirama, Madara, hurry!” He shouted out to them, yanking his cousin’s skull around to keep her off balance, a suicidal tactic for anyone else as the growths were extremely sensitive to touch and temperature. He had to bury the twinge of guilt deep under the mounting waves of adrenaline and anxiety while his brother moved to secure Naruto further, tying her limbs to the ground with ninja wire. Meanwhile, Madara moved for the bells, eyes blazing Sharingan red. He must have been just as desperate as Tobirama if they were activating now of all times.

Tobirama heard the tinkling of one bell being jostled as the Uchiha tugged at them, glancing away for the briefest of moments to preemptively watch their groups victory.

A horrible mistake as his grip slackened ever so slightly while his attention was divided.

The next thing to happen was a blur of movement as Naruto became a white fuzzy mass that shoved the Senju off herself, quickly encasing Madara in another orange Cheeto prison before tying Tobirama up and stringing him above the aforementioned pot of slithering fat slugs.

His brother, dumbfounded at the swift changing upper hand, didn’t even attempt to dodge the giant slug that simply nommed on him. At least this time his brother had some breathing room as the slug rearranged him in what could be analogous to cheeks, albeit his head was covered in a thick layer of clear mucus after he was slightly regurgitated.

Before them all, Naruto sat atop the still unconscious form of the yellow flash rubbing the spot on her head between her horns in agitation and muttering furiously to herself.

Three.

Two.

One.

Tobirama never knew how bitter the taste of defeat could be until now as he was unceremoniously cut free and sent onto the, thankfully, slug free ground as the pot and its contents vanished in a cloud of smoke.

Madara and Hashirama were in a similar state of anger, albeit much more humiliating.

The Uchiha heir was entirely orange, skin, clothes, and hair. Any other day the Senju might have pointed and laughed but today he could empathize ever so slightly.

His brother meanwhile hadn’t moved from his position on the dirty ground, covered in a nice extra thick layer of shiny slime.

Naruto stood up from her seat, while all three boys averted their gaze to the grassy ground in bitter defeat. “Mah, I’m guessing you three know what happens now?”

Three pairs of hands tightened in frustration, silently begging the woman to just rip the bandage off and send them back to the academy.

“Congratulations!” Naruto clapped in an all too happy tone, causing all three boy’s to look up at her in white shock.

“But we-”

“Failed? Yes, but you failed as a team!” She quipped with a close eyed smile.

“What do you-”

“Tobi-chan,” Naruto sighed in mock defeat, making Tobirama blush at the childish nickname and Madara snigger, “didn’t a certain idiot,” Namikaze sneezed in his slumber, “tell you the true meaning of this test?” She leaned down and raised her pointer finger. “Listen up, completing your mission is important, but it’s an important first step for you to learn that there are always going to be opponents stronger than you, challenges that you alone can’t face. So in times like those it’s important to have friends and trusted allies who can help you.”

“You really mean-”

“Seriously!”

“Does that mean-”

Naruto hummed a happy affirmation, “Congratulations on passing, team ten!” She pulled out confetti popper and set it off, even Katsuyu-sama got in on the action, producing one of those party horns and making the “Fwee!” Noise.

* * *

“Oneesan!” Namikaze Minato whined in defeat, slumped against the bar of Ichiraku while his sister and her new team of genin noisily slurped on their meal. A meal that Minato was forced to pay as his sister had stolen his wallet after he had been caught taking pictures for his scrapbook.

“Hmm?” She hummed, flipping through the polaroids she had commandeered as she waited for her next helping of ramen. On her other side, the three genin chatted excitedly amongst themselves, able to find some humor in the lesson they had just passed, even Madara in his new orange hue.

Though he had changed into a new set of clothes, his hair was unfortunately going to be orange for the next month or so, and his skin was a bit off color as well thanks to Naruto’s pranking arsenal.

“Never mind…” He grumbled, not even remembering the thing he was going to complain about, opting to focus on his own meal instead.

He was busy fishing out the last of his noodles when he asked her the big question, “So you’re seriously going to take on another team? Didn’t you redecorate the Hokage tower not even a week ago?”

“And I can’t change my mind?” She asked him.

“No it’s just… forget it.”

“What?” She raised a brow, slightly amused with her younger sibling pouting.

“It’s just…”

“Go on.  
  
“It’s just…”

“Out with it already!”

The jonin’s shoulders started to shake in frustration, “Oneesan! You’re already so busy with the hospital and helping out in T&I, with a genin team how are we going to spend time together?!” He whined like the toddler he was. “I only got to hang out with you three days per week last month!”

“Don’t you have a genin team of your own?”  
  
“See! That’s my point,” He glomped onto her, and Naruto was just glad he wasn’t drunk or else she would never escape his octopus-like grip. “Now we’re gonna be busier than ever!”

“You’re such a baby.”

“I am not, Oneesan, take it back!”

On some level, Naruto could understand her brother’s clinginess to her. Before they had been adopted by the Senju, it had just been them on the streets, with Naruto doing everything she could to keep him safe and fed, going so far as to starve herself if it meant he wouldn’t go hungry. It was no wonder he was so attached when she was really the only family he had ever known since he could walk.

“Fine fine fine,” she relented, sipping on the sake that would never get her drunk, something she was always jealous of normal people for being able to do. “Besides, if it makes you feel better, we can always do jint training and missions if you’re gonna miss me that badly.” She chuckled to herself, slightly regretting the idea as she could already see her kawaii otōto going wild with a camera.

“You mean it!” The blond instantly brightened, “Thank you, thank you, thank you! Ah,” He stood back as a brilliant idea came to him, “I need to go ask the Hokage to reserve us a joint mission and make sure the training grounds are clear for us to use tomorrow!” The jonin quickly jumped up and dashed down the street.

Naruto was just glad he didn’t use the hiraishin in his excitement.

“Don’t you have a fiancé to worry about?” She hollered after her idiot brother, contemplating if her sensei was going senile for choosing the little idiot as a successor.

“Good idea! I’ll see if they’re free tomorrow too!” He yelled over his shoulder before dashing around the corner.

Naruto sighed to herself in bemusement before realizing she had three pairs of eyes staring at her somewhere between disgust and horror.

“Naru-nee-sensei… you’re brother’s a pervert.”

  
She chuckled, rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment, “Just be glad he’s not _his_ sensei.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Me, panicking as the tenth is getting closer and schoolwork steadily piling up.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure for an update schedule of this, but I definitely intend for like the third fourth chapter to be out by October tenth as a Naruto Birthday related fic.
> 
> Feel free to ask any questions and I'll try to answer as best I can.
> 
> Ja ne - casual way of saying goodbye


End file.
